30 of 100 – Opposites Attract and for Good Reasons

My wife and I have worked couples retreats and marriage prep programs for many years. There is a saying we heard a long time ago that goes, "If both of you were the same, one of you is not necessary." That special something that attracted you to that other person in your life is probably something that's missing in you. The right other person for you completes you.

If you ask most couples, you'll likely find that one is a morning person while the other is a night owl. If one is big on exercise, the other will be less so. I know this is true for my wife and me. She is very direct, emotional and passionate about things. I'm a bit more diplomatic and unemotional. She is great at keeping relationship going long term, but is shy when she first meets people. I'm good at meeting new people that I don't know and have terrible follow up. If you think about your own relationship and that of the couples you know, you'll likely see the same thing.

It's interesting to point out that the same thing that attracts you to someone at first is what drives a wedge between you longer term. If you are detail oriented and your spouse is not, having the other person get the details wrong can be annoying after a while.

This is important when building a team to work with you. I'm a creative type that's great at coming up with new ideas. I find innovated ways of solving problems. But once the problem is solved at a higher level, the enthusiasm dwindles. The details that go into polishing things up bore me. To counteract this in me, I always look to find someone that is all about the detail. It's not that I can't do the polish and that I can't get the details done right. It's that it isn't my natural slant. I want my strengths and the other person's to work together to make a more complete team making up for the individual weaknesses.

So in relationships and team building, it's important to look for people that complement you and make up for what it is that you lack.